megaphoresMetaphors and Similes never looked so good

User profile for doobleducks

Total submissions: 19
Daily Wins: 1
Editors Picks: 1
Megaphails: 0
Average score: 47%

All submissions by doobleducks

Every time an British athlete doesn't sing the national anthem Piers Morgan cries like a dwarf kicked out of Snow White's entourage named WankyDW MegaAwful
BBC Three's Live at the Electric is as funny as being told you have the IQ of a ball bagMegaAwful
Andy Murray has as much chance of winning Wimbledon as a frog does of articulating his own feelingsMegaAwful
Council fines are given out easier than trainers are made by Pong Ting, the fastest sewer in the EastMegaAwful
Just gave 9 pints of blood in one sitting and now I feel like Kohiro the golden unicorn's advice to eat the floating pink sugarballs is a little shakyMegaAwful
I haven't panicked this much since my dog told me it was joining a philanthropy tour aiming to reduce racial segregation in South African caninesMegaAwful
Just downed 10 slush puppies and now I feel like I just eskimo kissed Sub-ZeroMegaAwful
When engaged in hand to hand combat there's nothing more humiliating than the unnerving revelation that your foe is made out of semolinaMegaAwful
After so many bank holidays the prospect of going back to work is like the prospect of telling Cymru the tempremental lion that he may require highly invasive penile surgeryMegaAwful
You call this torture? You might as well wrap me up in bubble wrap while whispering ELO lyrics into my ear and penetrating me with a goose's faceMegaAwful
Can you turn down the light? It's brighter than Johnny Flame holding a disco ballMegaAwful
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's do it like CRAzEE So WEE CaN PRRETeeeNND We'Re NOT DEaFMegaAwful
If I don't stop drinking whisky my liver will look like it accidentally affronted Umbogo the overly sensitive sasquatchMegaAwful
Nicholas Cage's film career is becoming more desperate than my Uncle Nancy who, paralysed from the neck down, fell over and drowned in an inch of waterMegaAwful
If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than Popeye's identical twin brother, Burstlung, after consuming his spinach equivalent, salmon en crouteMegaAwful
If Paris is the city of love then Hull is the uncomfortable revelation that your dog actually has the voice of a beleaguered David DickinsonMegaAwful
Since the accident my pet elephant has been more forgetful than my Aunty Trevor who died last week trying to use her car keys on a zebraMegaAwful
That bang was so loud I thought "Oh ho ho Mr. Microwave, how deep your sense of irony must run after cooking my platter of silver trout."EP MegaAwful
When it comes to dating I'm as shallow as the tears in the eyes of Hochumi the sorrowful slothMegaAwful
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