megaphoresMetaphors and Similes never looked so good

User profile for quadraspaz

Total submissions: 42
Daily Wins: 5
Editors Picks: 0
Megaphails: 0
Average score: 55%


All submissions by quadraspaz

Hit me 40 I'll die, hit me at 30 and I might live, but hit me at 90 and I would cease to existMegaAwful
This gossip is juicier than an explosion at a Sunny Delight factoryMegaAwful
This swimming pool contains so much chlorine it's like an albino spawning zoneDW MegaAwful
Why are you so mad? It's not like I booted you off the US X Factor because you speak funnyMegaAwful
Just played tennis against The Hulk and now I feel like I could clobber someone to death with my swolen tennis elbowMegaAwful
She looked at me like I'd just called her grandmaDW MegaAwful
That was over so fast I thought the 3 hour queue for The Oblivion hardly seemed worth itMegaAwful
Just downed 10 slush puppies and now I feel like Jack Frost is nipping at my Medula OblongataMegaAwful
That BBQ smells so good it's like all the vegetarians have been politely asked to get the fuck outMegaAwful
You're such a noob you couldn't even complete Super Mario with a constant supply of invincibility starsDW MegaAwful
What the deuce? That's more revolting than the new Cream Cheese & Chives flavour milkshake from FrijjMegaAwful
Early 19th century tampons looked like industry standard paint rollersMegaAwful
I haven't seen anything that disfigured since that game of Twister that went horribly horribly wrongMegaAwful
I hate being the passenger when my wife drives. She drives like she attended the Mario Kart School of MotoringMegaAwful
My youth is disappearing so fast it won't be long till Justin Bieber is played on Classic FMDW MegaAwful
When engaged in hand to hand combat there's nothing more humiliating than when all of a sudden you find yourself walking through corn fields, everything is sepia toned and you can hear singingMegaAwful
When engaged in hand to hand combat there's nothing more humiliating than getting People's Elbowed by your nanMegaAwful
The doctor said if I don't sort out this anal seepage I may as well become the worlds only Tubgirl tribute actMegaAwful
If Amy Winehouse brought out a perfume it would be called Skank™MegaAwful
The Penatron 10000 robot left me more breathless than the athletes in the wheelchair 110m hurdles eventDW MegaAwful
Yellow snow tastes like a cocktail of Skol and Red StripeMegaAwful
After so many bank holidays the prospect of going back to work is like any day in the life of a porn industry flufferMegaAwful
I understand the AV voting system about as much as creationists understand elementary level physicsMegaAwful
My forearms are so strong I could crush your head into a perfect diamondMegaAwful
You call this torture? You might as well turn the vibrator onto full power at leastMegaAwful
I've eaten so many Easter eggs, I feel like doing a handstand while taking a shit and being the world's first human chocolate fountainMegaAwful
If I were a spy I'd be as subtle as an elephant stampede in a quaint North Yorkshire hamletMegaAwful
When I showed up to that Bar Mitzvah I felt about as welcome as Kerry Katona at a Mensa gatheringMegaAwful
The Royal Wedding would be infinitely more interesting if the live coverage went right through to the "wedding night" and they added a funky 70's porn groove as the soundtrackMegaAwful
The Royal Wedding would be infinitely more interesting if Prince William was marrying Louie SpenceMegaAwful
If I don't stop drinking whisky my liver will look like a barbequed walnutMegaAwful
Nicholas Cage's film career is going to have to consist entirely of movies set in jails from now onMegaAwful
If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than the Ultimate Warrior after he's charged himself up by shaking the ring ropesMegaAwful
If Paris is the city of love then Hull is the city of love (between brothers and sisters, fathers and daughters etc)MegaAwful
That bang was so loud I thought I'd hit that child at 40, but thankfully it was only 30 so there's an 80% chance they will liveMegaAwful
When it comes to dating I'm as shallow as a camel's piss puddleMegaAwful
A spider just landed on my face and I screamed like I'd been asked to pick up the soap in a prison showerMegaAwful
A spider just landed on my face and I screamed like I'd been subjected to pictures of Susan Boyle nakedMegaAwful
Where did you meet her? She looks like the girl from "German Scat Whores III"MegaAwful
If I got a tattoo I'd be more popular than a Thorntons chocolate free sample stand at a Weightwatchers conventionMegaAwful
This curry is so spicy it feels like the main ingredient was napalmMegaAwful
Just been stung by a wasp and now my face has swollen up so bad it looks like michelin man's inflamed thyroid glandMegaAwful
 
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