megaphoresMetaphors and Similes never looked so good

User profile for vanillabear

Total submissions: 10
Daily Wins: 2
Editors Picks: 0
Megaphails: 0
Average score: 68%

All submissions by vanillabear

Early 19th century tampons looked like little paper vagina-hats.DW MegaAwful
If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than a glue-sniffing koala bearMegaAwful
I wish I hadn't had that curry last night. My anus feels like "Ohhhhhh, my shit is on fire!"MegaAwful
I wish I hadn't had that curry last night. My anus feels like it's been ravaged at a meeting of the cardinalsMegaAwful
Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like waiting for the Pope to empty his catheter after midnight mass.DW MegaAwful
That chatup line was more of a failure than getting a vasectomy just before your wife leaves youMegaAwful
If I was on Mastermind I would look dumber than Katie Price trying to remember her total number of sexual partners.MegaAwful
Andy Gray is going to find it harder to get a job than finding Madeline McCannMegaAwful
That drunken text was a worse idea than going on a blind date with someone described by your friend as "curvy"MegaAwful
It's the weekend and I'm randier than a northerner and any kind of pie.MegaAwful
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