I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a dog with two dicks.

I’m about as happy as Kid in a candy store

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

The Penatron 10000 robot left me more breathless than Chris Moyles doing curcuit training on the summit of Mount Everes

The Penatron 10000 robot left me more breathless than the athletes in the wheelchair 110m hurdles event

The Penatron 10000 robot left me more breathless than the time I had run for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days, and 16 hours

The Penatron 10000 robot left me more breathless than the time I made it all the way to the end of Dead or Alive 3D one handed

The Penatron 10000 robot left me more breathless than a 23 stone asthmatic attempting to sprint the london marathon

The Penatron 10000 robot left me more breathless than the time I accidentally taped that gherkin to the washing machine and accidentally slipped out of all my clothes onto it