I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Petrol prices are to be slashed by 1p per litre? I haven't felt this underwhelmed since I heard someone describe WW1 as "a bit icky"

Petrol prices are to be slashed by 1p per litre? I haven't felt this underwhelmed since my Kinder Egg had an I.O.U inside

Petrol prices are to be slashed by 1p per litre? I haven't felt this underwhelmed since all my Christmas presents were goats to African families

Petrol prices are to be slashed by 1p per litre? I haven't felt this underwhelmed since I learned that Santa Claus wasn't real

Petrol prices are to be slashed by 1p per litre? I haven't felt this underwhelmed since I was an NHS doctor preparing for the mass Swine Flu epidemic

Petrol prices are to be slashed by 1p per litre? I haven't felt this underwhelmed since my "super sexy" blind date was a ginger