I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Tried to bully Casey "Little Zangief" Heynes and now I'm The Man!

Tried to bully Casey "Little Zangief" Heynes and now I'm wondering what's happened in the twenty years I've been in a coma for

Tried to bully Casey "Little Zangief" Heynes and now I'm I'm drinking my hospital food through a straw

Tried to bully Casey "Little Zangief" Heynes and now I'm wishing my vital organs were still in my body and not scattered across the pavement

Tried to bully Casey "Little Zangief" Heynes and now I'm wishing Mark L (megaphore) a Happy 27th Birthday. That's right 27!

Tried to bully Casey "Little Zangief" Heynes and now I'm being peeled off the concrete as we speak