I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

I’m about as happy as a icecream in a freezer

I’m about as happy as A tranny getting a new pair of tits.

I’m about as happy as a paedophile in a playground

I’m about as happy as Lucy

You are so bald magpies try and collect your head

You are so bald that when you put your head between your legs it looks like your giving birth to a cancer patient

You are so bald lice have put a life time ban on your head

You are so bald that you probably pee sitting down