I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Ricky Gervais' Golden Globe performance was sexier than a pineapple rodgering a rotting sheep.

Ricky Gervais' Golden Globe performance was his last, proving that everyone is a winner!

Ricky Gervais' Golden Globe performance was missed by millions as they were watching the other channel

Ricky Gervais' Golden Globe performance was more offensive than a porn film set in a church

Ricky Gervais' Golden Globe performance was flatter than year old coke

Ricky Gervais' Golden Globe performance was typical and therefore bound to offend most A-listers who are far used to being universally 'adored'