I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a dog with two dicks.

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I need a piss so badly I could I need a piss so badly I could ... aaaaaahh

I need a piss so badly I could quench the thirst of 1000 third world children

I need a piss so badly I could unleash my entire bladder into your relaxing bath and not give a fuck

I need a piss so badly I could blow all my money on a Chinese black market replacement bladder

I need a piss so badly I could Pressure wash a farmers dung spreader

I need a piss so badly I could use my bladder as a bowling ball