I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

That was over so fast I thought the 3 hour queue for The Oblivion hardly seemed worth it

That was over so fast I thought I'd been beamed up by aliens

That was over so fast I thought maybe I shouldn't have slept with my hypnotist's wife

That was over so fast I thought we passed yussain bolt at some point...

That was over so fast I thought she didn't wake up...as God said after doing Mary.

That was over so fast I thought damn this premature ejaculation problem of hers.