I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Just played tennis against The Hulk and now I feel like St. John's Ambulance will tell me I shouldn't have given him first serve

Just played tennis against The Hulk and now I feel like a donut - soft and squishy, with red stuff leaking out various holes

Just played tennis against The Hulk and now I feel like telling Bruce Banner the ball was out wasn't a great idea!

Just played tennis against The Hulk and now I feel like I could clobber someone to death with my swolen tennis elbow

Just played tennis against The Hulk and now I feel like having a long shower to wash away the smell of fear...

Just played tennis against The Hulk and now I feel like Andy Murray must feel against Raphael Nadal