I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

When I first gazed into your eyes it was like the fact you were a video game character wasn't holding us back any longer

When I first gazed into your eyes it was like my oculophilia had reached dizzying new heights.

When I first gazed into your eyes it was like get out of here I'm having a dump!

When I first gazed into your eyes it was like "get out the way I'm trying to look at your mate"

When I first gazed into your eyes it was like staring into the deepest pits of hell

When I first gazed into your eyes it was like "there's a cream for that".