I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Trying to organise things with my friends is a nightmare. They are slacker than a Thai ladyboy's back pussy

Trying to organise things with my friends is a nightmare. They are slacker than a spring that has been stretched past it's elastic limit

Trying to organise things with my friends is a nightmare. They are slacker than a Chinese woman's shoes

Trying to organise things with my friends is a nightmare. They are slacker than a wizard's sleeve

Trying to organise things with my friends is a nightmare. They are slacker than Bill & Ted being late for the annual Slackers Convention.

Trying to organise things with my friends is a nightmare. They are slacker than a prostitute in a Brooklyn ghetto