I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Thank you for your kind invite, but I'd rather practice mooking with your great grandmother...

Thank you for your kind invite, but I'd rather not go to your clown fetish circle jerk

Thank you for your kind invite, but I'd rather cry myself to sleep in the comfort of my own space pod

Thank you for your kind invite, but I'd rather re-enact 1 man 1 jar, live in front of all my family and friends

Thank you for your kind invite, but I'd rather gargle the contents of my gran's colostomy bag

Thank you for your kind invite, but I'd rather spend the evening searching Google for tubgirl, meatspin, blue waffle, pain olympics and 2 girls 1 cup