I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

The man in the lighthouse must be lonelier than a ginger in a nightclub

The man in the lighthouse must be lonelier than Osama Bin Laden on his late night swim in the ocean

The man in the lighthouse must be lonelier than Pluto felt after being rejected by his planetary chums

The man in the lighthouse must be lonelier than Hitler's one ball.

The man in the lighthouse must be lonelier than a Man United fan from Manchester...

The man in the lighthouse must be lonelier than Magneto after sneezing in the middle of Lemington Spa's paperclip modelling museum