I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a dog with two dicks.

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than Mr Rogers in a blood stained sweater.

If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than the Ultimate Warrior after he's charged himself up by shaking the ring ropes

If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than Optimus Prime's lovechiled with a Tyrannosaurus Rex

If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than Popeye's identical twin brother, Burstlung, after consuming his spinach equivalent, salmon en croute

If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than a glue-sniffing koala bear

If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than the legs of the orphan children I use to power my Castle of Doom