I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Just one lottery win and I will be as rich as one of Bill Gate's nostril hairs

Just one lottery win and I will be as rich as Luke Skywalker after telling the bank clerk "You want to give me all of the money in the safe"

Just one lottery win and I will be as rich as Emperor Palpatine was after his multiple insurance claims

Just one lottery win and I will be as rich as a battered, honey filled all-butter doughnut

Just one lottery win and I will be as rich as Jose Antonio Martin making a couple of phone calls...

Just one lottery win and I will be as rich as Sepp Blatter after the World Cup bid