I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

That chatup line was more of a failure than Katie Price's string of marriages

That chatup line was more of a failure than George best's liver

That chatup line was more of a failure than I am for sneezing while saying it

That chatup line was more of a failure than England's 2018 World Cup bid

That chatup line was more of a failure than the mating ritual dance that preceded it

That chatup line was more of a failure than attempting to host a coolest ginger competition