I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Can you turn down the light? It's brighter than Ralph Wiggums night light

Can you turn down the light? It's brighter than a gollywog's teeth

Can you turn down the light? It's brighter than the National Albino Society's trip to the hall of mirrors

Can you turn down the light? It's brighter than the freshly spilt blood of the rabbit i just caught in my headlights

Can you turn down the light? It's brighter than Neo Bahamut's tonsils

Can you turn down the light? It's brighter than Johnny Flame holding a disco ball