I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

I’m about as happy as prince andrew in a pizza parlour

I’m about as happy as Slag with a vape

These puff pastry parcels are Discriminatory if there only for puffs

These puff pastry parcels are Sent to you via royal mail so they will be colder than an eskimos toilet seat