I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

I couldn't be happier if Ke$sha, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Bono, Jedward & the Glee Cast all got caught up in the same combine harvester accident

I couldn't be happier if an old bearded man in a brown dressing gown told me I needed to become a Jedi like my father

I couldn't be happier if I woke up one morning with breasts

I couldn't be happier if I was on a Prozac drip with a Nitrous oxide mask

I couldn't be happier if I could see multiple raibows, there so beautiful

I couldn't be happier if bacon and donuts were good for me