I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

So tonight I'm gonna party like it's hooters just declared a topless happy hour

So tonight I'm gonna party like it's Chernobyl and those strobes are lasers fired from the eyes of giant rabbits

So tonight I'm gonna party like it's topless waiters night at the local gaybar

So tonight I'm gonna party like it's Maggie Thatcher's funeral

So tonight I'm gonna party like it's Mr. Blobby's birthday and he's brought the mushrooms

So tonight I'm gonna party like it's time to make a sacrifice