I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Farting during the Royal Wedding would cause more of a scene than if William gave the vows he wrote after those 6 doses of LSD

Farting during the Royal Wedding would cause more of a scene than Philip peeling off a latex mask to reveal he is truly Hitler before launching an invasion of Mars to defeat the demons

Farting during the Royal Wedding would cause more of a scene than Harry sneaking in his alternative vows

Farting during the Royal Wedding would cause more of a scene than if kate royally faceplanted going down the aisle & took out a few teeth

Farting during the Royal Wedding would cause more of a scene than the time I farted twice in New York and these two towers fell down.