I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

When the probe was inserted I felt as if I was finally home. Finally home..

When the probe was inserted I felt as if the medical for being a choir boy was surprisingly rigorous

When the probe was inserted I felt as if they weren't really trying, so asked for a bigger one

When the probe was inserted I felt as if I was being sodomised by an icicle wielding polar bear

When the probe was inserted I felt as if mooning the UFO had been a bad idea.

When the probe was inserted I felt as if that time I put the gerbil up there was nothing in comparison