I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a dog with two dicks.

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

After so many bank holidays the prospect of going back to work is like Joining a queue for a kick in the cunt

After so many bank holidays the prospect of going back to work is like how Jesus felt after his Ascension when he had to move back in with his Dad.

After so many bank holidays the prospect of going back to work is like preparing to sit back down onto the excited lap of the taxman

After so many bank holidays the prospect of going back to work is like oh wait sorry I need to actually have a job to understand this one

After so many bank holidays the prospect of going back to work is like the prospect of telling Cymru the tempremental lion that he may require highly invasive penile surgery

After so many bank holidays the prospect of going back to work is like the prospect of an STI check after pulling in Twerton