I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like trying to make it to the end of Final Fantasy 7 with Aeris still alive

Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like Waiting in a queue for a toilet when you really really need a piss

Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like waiting for the Pope to empty his catheter after midnight mass.

Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like fapping until you are just about to splooge and then stopping

Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like waiting for my AIDS test result.

Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like waiting for a good episode of The Only Way is Essex