I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

The doctor said if I don't sort out this anal seepage I may as well buy nothing but brown pants for the rest of my life

The doctor said if I don't sort out this anal seepage I may as well get the operation to remover the ribs so I can suck it out myself, rather than asking him to do it every week.

The doctor said if I don't sort out this anal seepage I may as well bottle it and make some homemade marmite

The doctor said if I don't sort out this anal seepage I may as well leave my job and emigrate abroad to feed Rwandan tigers

The doctor said if I don't sort out this anal seepage I may as well become the worlds only Tubgirl tribute act