I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a dog with two dicks.

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

Someone took a dump in my shoe and it smells like the morning breath of the 2010 Rimming World Champion, hobo category...

Someone took a dump in my shoe and it smells like not just any dump but a sumptuous smelling, perfectly ripe, 21 day matured M & S dump

Someone took a dump in my shoe and it smells like smoked fillet of finest shoe leather money could buy

Someone took a dump in my shoe and it smells like the Flash's nuts after a hard day of runnin!

Someone took a dump in my shoe and it smells like the putrified vomit of a sea urchin

Someone took a dump in my shoe and it smells like their ass-hole needs an exorcism