I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Spring has sprung, the daffodils are out and I feel gayer than that time I got asked how many cocks I could fit in my mouth and replied " garglefhhthgargle".

Spring has sprung, the daffodils are out and I feel gayer than the time I accidentally turned to gay porn during the 'vinegar strokes'

Spring has sprung, the daffodils are out and I feel gayer than a gay fay on may day, who lay in the way of a ray of sun.

Spring has sprung, the daffodils are out and I feel gayer than a gambling lamb

Spring has sprung, the daffodils are out and I feel gayer than Graham Norton playing Frankenfurter

Spring has sprung, the daffodils are out and I feel gayer than the time Elton John sang "Are you ready for love?" and I said "Yes I am!"