I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

My hangover is so bad I feel like A limp dick in a whore house

My hangover is so bad I feel like I’ve just read your comments

My hangover is so bad I feel like That I'd be better off 6ft under in the forever box.

My hangover is so bad I feel like I got run over multiple times

My hangover is so bad I feel like every cell in my body is 50% bile 50% battery acid

My hangover is so bad I feel like Rick Waller's diarrhea after an all night indian buffet