Top 10 by Slightly different blue
Car insurance has become more over priced than tank insurance in Libya.
That bang was so loud I thought it was a bad idea to build the school for the sensitive of hearing next to Clumsy Joe's dynamite warehouse.
Just been stung by a wasp and now my face has swollen up so bad it looks like I sucked a guy off and my face got pregnant.
That hemorrhoid cream is more effective than employing an extremely hungry hobo.
This curry is so spicy it feels like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's being maced
Early 19th century tampons looked like a servant with bloody fingers.
After so many bank holidays the prospect of going back to work is like how Jesus felt after his Ascension when he had to move back in with his Dad.
I'm so addicted to chocolate, I crave it more than crack cocaine laced with crystal meth, snorted off an alcohol-soaked cigarette while surfing the internet.
Spring has sprung, the daffodils are out and I feel gayer than two rainbows with designer handbags locked in a tender man-on-man kiss
This Orchid is rarer than the monkeys that typed out the full works of Shakespeare