Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than A lesbian in a locker room
Bambam | 20/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 104
I need a piss so badly I could I need a piss so badly I could ... aaaaaahh
Corn | 19/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
My 4K TV is so high definition My TV is so high definition to the ceiling
Corn | 19/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
My 4K TV is so high definition that badly chosen camera angles in pornos are genuinely mentally scarring
MYEYESMYBEAUTIFULEYES | 17/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
No way could you do that. You've got more chance Of being handcuffed by ghosts
Pussy Galore | 15/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
My hangover is so bad I feel like I’ve been cast as a zombie extra in the Living Dead
RJOD | 14/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 52
Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than an Alabama mooncricket on a rape charge.
OI! YOU! | 11/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
I haven't panicked this much since my old gran caught her tit in the mangle.
OI! YOU! | 11/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
Her face is so old it looks like elbow skin.
OI! YOU! | 11/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
I'm going to punch you so hard it will alter your DNA.
OI! YOU! | 11/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
His handshake was so limp It was like shaking hands with a dead fish.
OI! YOU! | 11/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
Even though Kylie Minogue is in her 50’s, I’d still let her touch my special area
ThaReal1 | 10/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
Even though Kylie Minogue is in her 50’s, I’d still crawl inside her turtle shell
R2K | 10/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 104
My 4K TV is so high definition I can see the lizard in Boris Johnson's eyeballs
BaronZamedai | 10/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 106
My 4K TV is so high definition you can see a gnats pube at a thousand paces.
OI! YOU! | 10/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 106
Midweek television has gone downhill faster than Than a rabbit running down hill on a promise.
OI! YOU! | 10/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
That beer tastes like The scrapings from the devils jock strap.
OI! YOU! | 10/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
The final season of Game Of Thrones was more disappointing than getting together with your lifelong crush, only to find out she has burger nips
Toby Larone | 06/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
No way could you do that. You've got more chance Shaving a bobcat in a phone booth
Ram | 03/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 93
No way could you do that. You've got more chance Shoving cooked spaghetti up a mountain lion’s ass
Ram | 03/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 97
The final season of Game Of Thrones was more disappointing than a toothy blowjob from your uncle Ron
avogadroprevail | 30/06/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
You're more negative than an electron with chronic depression
Mark | 30/06/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 108
The final season of Game Of Thrones was more disappointing than when the young boy I was grooming online also turned out to be a 59 year old man
Nonce sence | 29/06/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 108
Well that plan went down like the syndrome
Jackers | 30/05/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 14
Well that plan went down like a lead balloon
Kevin | 23/05/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
Well that plan went down like Donkey kong
Joe | 07/05/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
Well that plan went down like Hell
Mary | 06/05/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
Well that plan went down like a prostitute with braces.
Aer_illustration | 03/05/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 60
Well that plan went down like the worm in the tequila bottle.
M | 03/04/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
Well that plan went down like A good husband
Bosstofe | 26/03/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
Well that plan went down like Jacko at a kids party
Weasle | 22/03/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 29
Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than Hairy turd trailing a hump back whale
Nebraska will | 01/03/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 54
Being part of the men's synchronised swimming team makes me prouder than n
n | 14/02/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
Well that plan went down like Monica on Bill
ItsTim | 08/02/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
Well that plan went down like Dele Alli in the penalty box
Alistair Blackmore | 18/01/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 62
Well that plan went down like a broken elevator
Stillgado | 28/11/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 18
Well that plan went down like river
Donald | 26/11/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 9
Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than a mermaids purse!
Jiester | 23/11/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 55
Well that plan went down like jumbo box of condoms in a nunnery
portland182 | 02/11/2018 | Permalink | E | MegaScore: 128
No way could you do that. You've got more chance of oscar pistorius catching athletes foot
Ciaran | 25/10/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 111
Watching England in a penalty shootout is as tense as misplacing your detonator at a thumb war convention
Parachoc | 21/08/2018 | Permalink | E | MegaScore: 131
Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than the front row at a shamu show
Parachoc | 21/08/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 67
Watching England in a penalty shootout is as tense as A pedophile at a wiggles concert
Changy232 | 19/08/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 32
Watching England in a penalty shootout is as tense as the time my son introduced me to his new waifu at dinner
twinningboyle | 11/07/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 32
Banged a $10 hooker 2 weeks ago and now my genitals looks like an old mans skin flute.
Chilli | 24/05/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 18
Banged a $10 hooker 2 weeks ago and now my genitals looks like blue waffle's ugly sister
Ronery man | 18/05/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 16
Banged a $10 hooker 2 weeks ago and now my genitals looks like a dropped trifle
Ronery man | 18/05/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 55
Banged a $10 hooker 2 weeks ago and now my genitals looks like A half eaten lion bar
Steve the Scouser | 01/05/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 78
If I was a hitman I would be deadlier than a deranged scorpion on meth
bsg1 | 11/04/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 18
If I was a hitman I would be deadlier than Tim Romble wearing his favourite bumming hat
Provokativ69 | 29/03/2018 | Permalink | MegaScore: 43