I've been dumped more time than A baby at an abortion clinic
Olly G | 14/05/2020 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
No way could you do that. You've got more chance Of shitting on the moon
Tony | 01/04/2020 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
I've been dumped more time than a curry at an elephant's stag party
Ian Gregory | 19/02/2020 | Permalink | E | MegaScore: 152
I'm going to punch you so hard That you fall into a coma
Jesusfan | 17/02/2020 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
I'm going to punch you so hard That all the shit would come out your mouth
Greatttauthorr | 17/02/2020 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
I'm going to punch you so hard That you would be able to see far into space
Whatsupppeople | 17/02/2020 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
I'm going to punch you so hard That your head will spin as long as you live
Greatttauthorr | 17/02/2020 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
I'm going to punch you so hard That you wont be known as black but the black and blue
Greatttauthorr | 17/02/2020 | Permalink | MegaScore: 74
Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than Houdini's underpants
Roy | 15/02/2020 | Permalink | MegaScore: 35
Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than A bitch ass hoe
Your mom | 20/01/2020 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
No way could you do that. You've got more chance of being bitten by a daffodil!
Willie | 23/12/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 70
No way could you do that. You've got more chance of catching a brick in a cobweb!
Willie | 23/12/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 54
Me and my buddy are so close we’re like 2 balls in a bag
nohomo | 03/12/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 104
Even though Kylie Minogue is in her 50’s, I’d still rather bang Jason Donovan
Jonathan Wells | 25/11/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 88
No way could you do that. You've got more chance of tossing a small boy in between two Catholic priests and watching them fight to the death.
ZekeTheGeek | 11/11/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 70
Even though Kylie Minogue is in her 50’s, I’d still pick the peanuts out of her crap just to see where they came from
repressed_worker | 08/11/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 104
I'm going to punch you so hard Jesus will forget his last name
Chase brewer | 07/11/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
She looked at me like I'd just adopted chicken poop
he | 25/10/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
The temperature is so hot I would become roast chicken
Applemunch | 23/10/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
That chatup line was more of a failure than the Wii U's selling rates!
Applemunch | 23/10/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 35
After decades of anabolic steroid abuse, her breasts looked like two deflated Mylar balloons.
PJ | 10/10/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 104
No way could you do that. You've got more chance Of finding a ride Mark on an Asians neck.
Jd | 29/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than Candice when I lick her cunt
Bazaa | 27/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than Octopuses bellybutton
Boab | 23/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 52
No way could you do that. You've got more chance of being treated fairly by the human race and getting what you deserve just for being a good honest person and working h
I HATE HUMANS | 21/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 35
No way could you do that. You've got more chance of having a threesome with Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, and Sara Jean Underwood.
Stephen Hawking | 21/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 65
No way could you do that. You've got more chance of working for ALTICE and getting a raise.
FUCK ALTICE | 21/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 35
No way could you do that. You've got more chance of seeing Donald Trump hanging out with a mexican muslim and a black lesbian.
L-I-SteveO | 21/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 75
I'm going to punch you so hard you wont be able to drop a load
hanny ben | 17/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 54
I'm going to punch you so hard your sniffer falls off
benny hanna | 16/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 48
After decades of anabolic steroid abuse, her breasts looked like peanuts
jim | 15/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
No way could you do that. You've got more chance Fucking a dead nun
Me | 05/09/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 35
Donald Trump looks like somebody drew a face on a plum and then lost it for a month.
Frankie Boyle | 16/08/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 52
Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than a mermaids minge
Mikey | 16/08/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 72
Well that plan went down like a cup of hot sick
Tardigrade kid | 11/08/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
When I'm finished with you your face will look like Butta
Destiny | 10/08/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than a nonce in a playgym
KC | 05/08/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
Being a 51 year old virgin is leaving me more frustrated than A cat trying to bury a turd on a marble floor
caseythebuffalo | 25/07/2019 | Permalink | E | MegaScore: 144
After decades of anabolic steroid abuse, her breasts looked like someone had cast Petrify on them
Cloud | 23/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
After decades of anabolic steroid abuse, her breasts looked like Ryvita thins
Mr. Ninepound | 23/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than A lesbian in a locker room
Bambam | 20/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 26
I need a piss so badly I could I need a piss so badly I could ... aaaaaahh
Corn | 19/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 52
My 4K TV is so high definition My TV is so high definition to the ceiling
Corn | 19/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 0
My 4K TV is so high definition that badly chosen camera angles in pornos are genuinely mentally scarring
MYEYESMYBEAUTIFULEYES | 17/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
No way could you do that. You've got more chance Of being handcuffed by ghosts
Pussy Galore | 15/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 37
My hangover is so bad I feel like I’ve been cast as a zombie extra in the Living Dead
RJOD | 14/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 27
Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than an Alabama mooncricket on a rape charge.
OI! YOU! | 11/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 70
I haven't panicked this much since my old gran caught her tit in the mangle.
OI! YOU! | 11/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
Her face is so old it looks like elbow skin.
OI! YOU! | 11/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 102
I'm going to punch you so hard it will alter your DNA.
OI! YOU! | 11/07/2019 | Permalink | MegaScore: 81