Date Sentence Start Megaphores
05/01/2022 I’m about as happy as 12
05/01/2022 OnlyFans banning porn is like 7
19/06/2020 I've been dumped more time than 2
27/02/2021 She has teeth like 6
14/02/2020 Me and my buddy are so close we’re like 1
20/08/2021 After the nuclear war, he looked like 8
04/10/2020 This squid is so undercooked 3
19/10/2019 After decades of anabolic steroid abuse, her breasts looked like 4
23/07/2019 My 4K TV is so high definition 4
03/12/2019 Even though Kylie Minogue is in her 50’s, I’d still 5
09/07/2019 The final season of Game Of Thrones was more disappointing than 4
29/06/2019 That beer tastes like 1
29/10/2018 Well that plan went down like 17
04/07/2018 Watching England in a penalty shootout is as tense as 3
16/04/2018 Banged a $10 hooker 2 weeks ago and now my genitals looks like 5
23/07/2017 If I was a hitman I would be deadlier than 14
29/05/2017 Selfie sticks are more annoying than 4
18/11/2016 I felt more oppressed than 8
21/09/2016 My conker is going to hit yours so hard 1
30/08/2016 It's so hot today, my groin feels like 3
29/08/2016 Donald Trump looks like 2
09/06/2016 My buddy thinks he's a street thug, but he's really whiter than 10
14/05/2015 Conservatives in power again is like 11
17/02/2015 My fingers are so cold 5
30/09/2014 Halloween is more forgotten than 4
14/07/2014 You're more negative than 2
13/05/2014 I ate a vegetarian bean burger and now my farts smell like 3
07/05/2014 He was getting all up in my grill, so I beat him like he was a 6
11/02/2014 Neknominations are as pointless as 1
10/02/2014 Smoking 60 a day will make your lungs look like 1
08/07/2013 The Wimbledon final was like 5
07/07/2013 The temperature is so hot 3
15/02/2013 The beach was more deserted than 5
15/01/2013 You are so bald 4
04/12/2012 Most of the beer at beer festivals taste like 17
17/11/2012 One more pair of Christmas socks and 1
16/11/2012 If Christmas starts any sooner next year 0
15/11/2012 That secret santa present 0
10/10/2012 His handshake was so limp 7
09/09/2012 I'm going to punch you so hard 62
03/09/2012 My head is so all over the place, it feels like 5
22/08/2012 Her chest is so full of silicone 3
20/08/2012 This weather is more unpredictable than 3
13/08/2012 Now the Olympics is over I've got as much to do as 4
09/08/2012 Every time an British athlete doesn't sing the national anthem Piers Morgan cries like a 1
08/08/2012 Watching Eastenders every day must be like 3
07/08/2012 I want you to read this script like 2
06/08/2012 Being part of the "Independent Olympic Athletes" team is a bit like 1
05/08/2012 Being part of the men's synchronised swimming team makes me prouder than 3
04/08/2012 After running the marathon my shorts were chafing like 1
03/08/2012 The weightlifters strain so hard they 0
02/08/2012 Getting a boner watching the gynastics is like 0
01/08/2012 Now I've shaved my balls I'll be able to swim like 3
31/07/2012 If I watch one more minute of Olympic sport 2
30/07/2012 Britain has less chance of topping the Olympic medal tables than 3
25/07/2012 Anne Hathaway in a cat suit is like 10
24/07/2012 This heat is making me thirstier than 12
19/07/2012 Tiger bread smells like 3
18/07/2012 One more day of rain 2
10/07/2012 BBC Three's Live at the Electric is as funny as 5
03/07/2012 Seeing the same Big Bang Theory repeated every day is like 3
27/06/2012 When I went on Embarrassing Bodies, Dr. Christian made me feel like 7
26/06/2012 Andy Murray has as much chance of winning Wimbledon as 11
02/06/2012 I care as much about the Queen's Jubilee as 0
09/05/2012 Ronnie O'Sullivan handles a cue better than 3
04/03/2012 Nicki Minaj is the worst thing to happen to music since 3
18/01/2012 Without Wikipedia I feel like 4
03/12/2011 This is worse than the recurring nightmare I have where 2
18/11/2011 These underpants are stretchier than 2
07/11/2011 My girlfriend asked if her bum looked big in that dress. I said it looked like 5
02/11/2011 Last time I farted like that 4
29/10/2011 By the 8th session I felt like 1
27/10/2011 I love you so much I'd 4
26/10/2011 I've eaten so much super fruit, if I have any more 7
18/10/2011 The first time I discovered porn it was like 4
01/10/2011 I play World of Warcraft so much I 5
11/09/2011 If he was any camper 2
07/09/2011 These puff pastry parcels are 2
06/09/2011 You eat so much junk food your colon must look like 1
01/09/2011 You know you got dealt a bad hand in life when 3
31/08/2011 The punishment for the chavs who took part in the riots should be 2
25/08/2011 If I ate 10 bags of skittles and then farted it would be like 1
24/08/2011 Conditioner makes my hair so silky 0
22/08/2011 If I had one penny for every time 0
21/08/2011 The new X Factor judges are 1
17/08/2011 Kissing a girl who smokes is like 2
15/08/2011 I'm such a nervous pervous, when that balloon popped I felt like 2
14/08/2011 Her face is so old it looks like 3
11/08/2011 One beer and I'm more bloated than the time 1
10/08/2011 I'm so claustrophobic when I get in a lift it feels like 3
09/08/2011 If my balls were any smaller 5
08/08/2011 Rioters looting Aldi must be more desperate than 4
06/08/2011 If David Cameron was any more of a ball bag 1
04/08/2011 Midweek television couldn't be worse at the moment if 3
03/08/2011 I've seen Friends so many times, if I watch one more 2
01/08/2011 Watched Show me the Funny last night. Dying on stage must be more painful than 1
31/07/2011 The new Dragon looks like 1
30/07/2011 Segway riding on a British pavement is more rebellious than 2
28/07/2011 If I masturbated any more 3
27/07/2011 My new hard drive stores so much porn I 0
26/07/2011 The Bugatti Veyron does 0 - 60 faster than 3
23/07/2011 Red wine stains your teeth more than 3
21/07/2011 If she wore any more make up 1
19/07/2011 That viral video got passed around like 5
18/07/2011 Wasps are 1
17/07/2011 This year's game releases will drain my money faster than 2
16/07/2011 The last Harry Potter film would be infinitely more exciting if 3
15/07/2011 Celebrity botox looks so 0
14/07/2011 How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if 2
11/07/2011 If Clumsy Joe and Calamity Jane made a porn film it would be like 3
10/07/2011 Finding a job is like 1
09/07/2011 The new Inbetweener's movie will be filled with more expletives than 1
07/07/2011 If I was any wiser 3
06/07/2011 If the News of the World hacked my phone it would be like 2
05/07/2011 Complaining about the sun is like 1
04/07/2011 Environmentalists' policy on using only one square of toilet paper per visit is 6
03/07/2011 Nothing makes me choke back the tears like 2
02/07/2011 Boxing couldn't be less exciting if 3
01/07/2011 Hitting that perfect shot in golf is like 4
30/06/2011 If I got any more sunburnt I'd 3
29/06/2011 Tennis is so middle class 4
28/06/2011 These wires are more tangled up than 4
27/06/2011 Hit me 40 I'll die, hit me at 30 and I might live, but hit me at 90 and 6
26/06/2011 Obi-Wan: If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than 7
25/06/2011 Picked my nose so deep I pulled out 9
24/06/2011 I'm so short sighted I 5
23/06/2011 Council fines are given out easier than 4
22/06/2011 I visited the very depths of hell and it was like 6
21/06/2011 Boxsets are taking over the world faster than 4
20/06/2011 Sometimes being sat on the toilet with diarrhea feels more satisfying than 6
19/06/2011 This gossip is juicier than 4
18/06/2011 Sleeping on a hard floor couldn't be more uncomfortable if 2
17/06/2011 Just gave 9 pints of blood in one sitting and now I feel like 4
16/06/2011 I need a piss so badly I could 8
15/06/2011 This movie contains more adult themes than 5
14/06/2011 Losing a fight to Justin Bieber would be like 6
13/06/2011 I like my women like I like my 12
12/06/2011 This swimming pool contains so much chlorine it's like 8
11/06/2011 I haven't panicked this much since 11
10/06/2011 It contains about as much bacteria as 4
09/06/2011 You couldn't be more perverted if 5
08/06/2011 Momma always said life is like a 8
07/06/2011 Jennifer Aniston has more ex boyfriends than 4
06/06/2011 Warning: German beansprouts may be deadlier than 6
05/06/2011 Midas turns things into gold. You turn them into 6
04/06/2011 My sense of smell is so good I can 3
03/06/2011 My Bi-Polar friend is more up and down than 7
02/06/2011 Have you met my friend Jesus? He's 14
01/06/2011 Just got beaten on Mario Kart by my five year old son and now feel like 8
31/05/2011 Well, that was more embarassing than 8
30/05/2011 Why are you so mad? It's not like I 9
29/05/2011 Just played tennis against The Hulk and now I feel like 8
28/05/2011 Call that a winner? I've seen 5
27/05/2011 She looked at me like I'd just 14
26/05/2011 That was over so fast I thought 10
25/05/2011 To be a contestant on The Apprentice you need to have the common sense of 8
24/05/2011 Just downed 10 slush puppies and now I feel like 11
23/05/2011 Made in Chelsea is more cringeworthy than 9
22/05/2011 This Icelandic volcano is causing more disruption than 9
20/05/2011 Yesterday's Rapture was 7
20/05/2011 That BBQ smells so good it's like 5
19/05/2011 You're such a noob you couldn't even 7
18/05/2011 When I die I want to go out like 5
17/05/2011 What the deuce? That's more revolting than 13
16/05/2011 Early 19th century tampons looked like 11
15/05/2011 My mother tried to abort me with a coathanger and I turned out like 6
14/05/2011 After losing to Jedward at Eurovision, Blue must be 6
13/05/2011 I haven't seen anything that disfigured since 8
12/05/2011 You make me angrier than 5
11/05/2011 I hate being the passenger when my wife drives. She drives like 11
10/05/2011 My youth is disappearing so fast it won't be long till 9
09/05/2011 When engaged in hand to hand combat there's nothing more humiliating than 14
08/05/2011 The doctor said if I don't sort out this anal seepage I may as well 5
07/05/2011 If Amy Winehouse brought out a perfume it would be called 5
06/05/2011 Working on a weekend feels more wrong than 7
05/05/2011 The Penatron 10000 robot left me more breathless than 9
04/05/2011 The man in the lighthouse must be lonelier than 8
03/05/2011 Yellow snow tastes like 7
02/05/2011 When I heard Osama Bin Laden had been killed I laughed like 8
01/05/2011 After so many bank holidays the prospect of going back to work is like 10
30/04/2011 If my eyes were any closer together I would 9
29/04/2011 I understand the AV voting system about as much as 9
28/04/2011 Farting during the Royal Wedding would cause more of a scene than 5
27/04/2011 My forearms are so strong I could 9
26/04/2011 You call this torture? You might as well 15
25/04/2011 I care as much about you as I do about 8
24/04/2011 I've eaten so many Easter eggs, I feel like 6
23/04/2011 If I were a spy I'd be as subtle as 13
22/04/2011 When I showed up to that Bar Mitzvah I felt about as welcome as 9
21/04/2011 Can you turn down the light? It's brighter than 12
20/04/2011 Nothing gets me out of bed quicker than 17
19/04/2011 You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's do it like 11
18/04/2011 The Royal Wedding would be infinitely more interesting if 13
17/04/2011 If I don't stop drinking whisky my liver will look like 9
16/04/2011 Nicholas Cage's film career is 11
15/04/2011 If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than 9
14/04/2011 If Paris is the city of love then Hull is 10
13/04/2011 Since the accident my pet elephant has been more forgetful than 12
12/04/2011 That bang was so loud I thought 18
11/04/2011 When it comes to dating I'm as shallow as 12
10/04/2011 Just ran over my cat and now it's as dead as 10
09/04/2011 A cheese and jam toastie? That couldn't be worse if you 16
08/04/2011 A spider just landed on my face and I screamed like I'd been 15
07/04/2011 I'm so drunk, I feel like 9
06/04/2011 Car insurance has become more over priced than 9
05/04/2011 You want me to do what? I'd have more luck 16
05/04/2011 Where did you meet her? She looks like 14
03/04/2011 If I got a tattoo I'd be more popular than 11
02/04/2011 This curry is so spicy it feels like 15
01/04/2011 Just been stung by a wasp and now my face has swollen up so bad it looks like 13
31/03/2011 Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than 28
30/03/2011 Spring has sprung, the daffodils are out and I feel gayer than 28
29/03/2011 This inner ear infection is making me clumsier than 13
28/03/2011 It's times like this I wish I was 12
27/03/2011 Life through Charlie Sheen's eyes must be loonier than 7
27/03/2011 Petrol prices are to be slashed by 1p per litre? I haven't felt this underwhelmed since 11
25/03/2011 If I walked into a club looking any hotter 7
24/03/2011 He has the heart of a lion and the brain of a 14
23/03/2011 Tried to bully Casey "Little Zangief" Heynes and now I'm 7
22/03/2011 This Orchid is rarer than 13
21/03/2011 My new armour offers me about as much protection as 16
20/03/2011 This jazz is smoother than 13
19/03/2011 Football couldn't be a duller sport if 12
18/03/2011 Used Veet instead of shampoo this morning and now I'm as bald as 13
18/03/2011 I'm so addicted to chocolate, I crave it more than 12
17/03/2011 If Star Wars was real my life couldn't be more complete if 3
17/03/2011 Been listening to Chris Moyles for 30 hours straight and now I'm 23
15/03/2011 That hemorrhoid cream is more effective than 14
15/03/2011 For missing the sentence start again the creators of Megaphores are sorrier than 16
14/03/2011 So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 15
12/03/2011 If I'm going to do this I'll need more balls than 12
11/03/2011 I'm more nervous for this interview than 8
10/03/2011 I couldn't be happier if 23
09/03/2011 This family heirloom has been passed down through generations and is worth more than 14
08/03/2011 I forgot to buy milk so my pancakes ended up stodgier than 16
07/03/2011 When I was a teenager I had more spots than 21
06/03/2011 My phone is so outdated it 28
05/03/2011 Getting dressed in the dark is more of a struggle than 11
04/03/2011 If I eat any more I'll end up looking like 9
03/03/2011 I was slapped so hard I thought 17
02/03/2011 Libya is in more of a mess than 21
01/03/2011 A good chocolate brownie should have the consistency of 14
28/02/2011 That guy has the dancing abilities of a 23
27/02/2011 That model is so hot I would 32
26/02/2011 He's got the dress sense of a 8
25/02/2011 My five year old son painted me a picture at school and it looks like 14
24/02/2011 This hot knife cuts through butter like 14
23/02/2011 When I'm finished with you your face will look like 19
23/02/2011 No way could you do that. You've got more chance 63
20/02/2011 Getting bitten by a radioactive spider would be cooler than 13
19/02/2011 Trying to organise things with my friends is a nightmare. They are slacker than 10
18/02/2011 This towel is so rough it's like 11
17/02/2011 Justin Bieber is more annoying than 22
16/02/2011 That guy? He's about as manly as 21
15/02/2011 Thank you for your kind invite, but I'd rather 30
14/02/2011 I'm so old I feel like 8
14/02/2011 Forgot to buy a Valentine's Day card and now I'm in more trouble than 11
13/02/2011 I'm such a badass I 7
12/02/2011 Petrol prices are getting more ridiculous than 10
11/02/2011 My hangover is so bad I feel like 19
10/02/2011 Where did you learn to cook? This tastes like 14
09/02/2011 By the time Amy Winehouse is 40 she will look like 15
08/02/2011 Being a 51 year old virgin is leaving me more frustrated than 19
07/02/2011 Just found £1 in the street and now I'm as excited as 17
06/02/2011 When the probe was inserted I felt as if 20
05/02/2011 Spent five minutes outside today and now I'm wetter than 52
03/02/2011 Someone took a dump in my shoe and it smells like 31
02/02/2011 That joke made me laugh so hard I almost 21
01/02/2011 This box of freshly picked apples is like 10
31/01/2011 Just one lottery win and I will be as rich as 15
30/01/2011 Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like 19
30/01/2011 I wish I hadn't had that curry last night. My anus feels like 24
28/01/2011 Is it me or does that look weirder than 19
27/01/2011 That chatup line was more of a failure than 28
26/01/2011 If I was on Mastermind I would look dumber than 29
25/01/2011 Andy Gray is going to find it harder to get a job than 35
25/01/2011 It's so cold outside. If my nipples were any harder 26
23/01/2011 When I first gazed into your eyes it was like 29
23/01/2011 That drunken text was a worse idea than 21
21/01/2011 It's the weekend and I'm randier than 33
20/01/2011 This toilet tissue is so soft it's like 43
20/01/2011 Ricky Gervais' Golden Globe performance was 10
20/01/2011 Midweek television has gone downhill faster than 12