Top 10 by Quadraspaz

That bang was so loud I thought I'd hit that child at 40, but thankfully it was only 30 so there's an 80% chance they will live
Quadraspaz | 13/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 91
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Just been stung by a wasp and now my face has swollen up so bad it looks like michelin man's inflamed thyroid gland
Quadraspaz | 02/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 78
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Where did you meet her? She looks like the girl from "German Scat Whores III"
Quadraspaz | 05/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 78
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4
If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than the Ultimate Warrior after he's charged himself up by shaking the ring ropes
Quadraspaz | 16/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 74
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5
If Paris is the city of love then Hull is the city of love (between brothers and sisters, fathers and daughters etc)
Quadraspaz | 15/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 73
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6
When I showed up to that Bar Mitzvah I felt about as welcome as Kerry Katona at a Mensa gathering
Quadraspaz | 23/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 72
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7
My youth is disappearing so fast it won't be long till Justin Bieber is played on Classic FM
Quadraspaz | 11/05/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 72
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8
When it comes to dating I'm as shallow as a camel's piss puddle
Quadraspaz | 12/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 72
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9
The Royal Wedding would be infinitely more interesting if the live coverage went right through to the "wedding night" and they added a funky 70's porn groove as the soundtrack
Quadraspaz | 19/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 67
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10
A spider just landed on my face and I screamed like I'd been subjected to pictures of Susan Boyle naked
Quadraspaz | 09/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 66
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