Megaphores - Metaphors and Similes never looked so good

My phone is so outdated it came out as a revolutionary alternative to cups and string

i like turtles | 07/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 101

MegaAwful

I forgot to buy milk so my pancakes ended up stodgier than the waste from a liposuction clinic

i like turtles | 09/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 98

MegaAwful

Used Veet instead of shampoo this morning and now I'm as bald as Justin Beiber's ballsack

i like turtles | 19/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 94

MegaAwful

4

For missing the sentence start again the creators of Megaphores are sorrier than someone who looked at Chuck Norris in the wrong tone of voice

i like turtles | 15/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 90

MegaAwful

5

Spring has sprung, the daffodils are out and I feel gayer than the time Elton John sang "Are you ready for love?" and I said "Yes I am!"

i like turtles | 31/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 86

MegaAwful

6

Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like fapping until you are just about to splooge and then stopping

i like turtles | 31/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 82

MegaAwful

7

My new armour offers me about as much protection as a pair of Adamantine nipple rings

i like turtles | 22/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 78

MegaAwful

8

Just gave 9 pints of blood in one sitting and now I feel like a pepperami

i like turtles | 18/06/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 73

MegaAwful

9

The Royal Wedding would be infinitely more interesting if coverage was sponsored by Anusol

i like turtles | 19/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 73

MegaAwful

10

I couldn't be happier if I was on a Prozac drip with a Nitrous oxide mask

i like turtles | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 73

MegaAwful

Top 10 by i like turtles