Top 10 by generic username

Nothing gets me out of bed quicker than waking up to the tender spooning and gentle whispers of my drunk dad..
generic username | 21/04/2011 | Permalink | E | MegaScore: 154
That bang was so loud I thought I'd probably broken her jaw...teach her to burn dinner...
generic username | 13/04/2011 | Permalink | E | MegaScore: 128
My mother tried to abort me with a coathanger and I turned out like a giant, unloved, lump of swiss cheese
generic username | 16/05/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 94
4
Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than an orgy at weightwatchers. In a sauna.
generic username | 01/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 85
5
Spring has sprung, the daffodils are out and I feel gayer than the time me & my friend were play wrestling & we accidently made eye contact... & then I accidently bummed him...
generic username | 31/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 82
6
This inner ear infection is making me clumsier than a 1 legged giraffe trying to stand on marbles
generic username | 30/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 72
7
Just downed 10 slush puppies and now I feel like I've been violently skullfucked by a rather well endowed snowman
generic username | 25/05/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 72
8
When it comes to dating I'm as shallow as a puddle on the sun
generic username | 12/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 70
9
If I got a tattoo I'd be more popular than the kid who had 3 shiny Charizards at school
generic username | 04/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 69
10
Where did you meet her? She looks like my mate Brian.. who I haven't actually seen since that 'operation' he mentioned...
generic username | 05/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 67