Top 10 by Elvin

When I first gazed into your eyes it was like the biggest mistake of my life coming back to haunt me
Elvin | 24/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 64
Thank you for your kind invite, but I'd rather Jump out of a plane without a parachute than attend your party.
Elvin | 16/02/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 62
My phone is so outdated it could be used as a building block for a house
Elvin | 07/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 60
4
That bang was so loud I thought my cat had knocked a frying pan onto the floor. Turns out it was Buncefield exploding. True story.
Elvin | 13/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 60
5
Nothing gets me out of bed quicker than my cat jumping on me, trying to eat my toes
Elvin | 21/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 60
6
Midweek television has gone downhill faster than a bicycle with no brakes going down Bathwick hill
Elvin | 20/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 55
7
Andy Gray is going to find it harder to get a job than an autistic gorilla in an office
Elvin | 26/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 55
8
This inner ear infection is making me clumsier than a one armed zombie with no brain left
Elvin | 30/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 52
9
Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like waiting to have the right weather for a BBQ in England
Elvin | 31/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 48
10
That joke made me laugh so hard I almost hit my head on the desk, broke it, and then headbutted the floor
Elvin | 03/02/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 45