That bang was so loud I thought my intestines couldn't handle the Krakatoa like pressures. Note to self: No more 'Indian Chicken Curry'...

This curry is so spicy it feels like I just ate a million Scoville units.

A spider just landed on my face and I screamed like I'd been secretly hiding my gender for the past 21 years.

Since the accident my pet elephant has been more forgetful than ... wait, my 'pet elephant'? What kind of an accident was I in?!