Top 10 by vanillabear

Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like waiting for the Pope to empty his catheter after midnight mass.
vanillabear | 31/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 92
It's the weekend and I'm randier than a northerner and any kind of pie.
vanillabear | 22/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 90
That drunken text was a worse idea than going on a blind date with someone described by your friend as "curvy"
vanillabear | 23/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 79
4
If I was on Mastermind I would look dumber than Katie Price trying to remember her total number of sexual partners.
vanillabear | 27/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 78
5
That chatup line was more of a failure than getting a vasectomy just before your wife leaves you
vanillabear | 28/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 66
6
I wish I hadn't had that curry last night. My anus feels like it's been ravaged at a meeting of the cardinals
vanillabear | 31/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 66
7
Early 19th century tampons looked like little paper vagina-hats.
vanillabear | 17/05/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 66
8
Andy Gray is going to find it harder to get a job than finding Madeline McCann
vanillabear | 26/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 62
9
I wish I hadn't had that curry last night. My anus feels like "Ohhhhhh, my shit is on fire!"
vanillabear | 31/01/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 43
10
If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than a glue-sniffing koala bear
vanillabear | 16/04/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 39