Top 10 by vanillabear
Waiting for Andy Murray to win a grand slam is like waiting for the Pope to empty his catheter after midnight mass.
It's the weekend and I'm randier than a northerner and any kind of pie.
That drunken text was a worse idea than going on a blind date with someone described by your friend as "curvy"
If I was on Mastermind I would look dumber than Katie Price trying to remember her total number of sexual partners.
That chatup line was more of a failure than getting a vasectomy just before your wife leaves you
I wish I hadn't had that curry last night. My anus feels like it's been ravaged at a meeting of the cardinals
Early 19th century tampons looked like little paper vagina-hats.
Andy Gray is going to find it harder to get a job than finding Madeline McCann
I wish I hadn't had that curry last night. My anus feels like "Ohhhhhh, my shit is on fire!"
If I ate a dolphin I would be more powerful than a glue-sniffing koala bear