Top 10 by Hoggy
No way could you do that. You've got more chance of using that expired condom you keep in your wallet 'just incase'
If I don't stop drinking whisky my liver will look like im staging a re-enactment of the rectum of 1 guy 1 cup.
My phone is so outdated it doesnt even have Snake!
That drunken text was a worse idea than going swimming with Michael Barrymore.
When I showed up to that Bar Mitzvah I felt about as welcome as when i turned up at veterans day as Hitler, complete with finger 'tash
Someone took a dump in my shoe and it smells like a gnome and a tramp cross bred and the mutant offspring was the culprit.
Nothing gets me out of bed quicker than When the mistake from the night before tries to slip a digit up my arse
Life through Charlie Sheen's eyes must be loonier than Space Jam, part deux.
Nicholas Cage's film career is like a combination of Lady Gaga and a Laurel and Hardy sketch. Terrible, mad, and yet slightly amusing.
I care as much about you as I do about a cold beer on a hot day. Perfect in moderation, but overdo it and your in the shit the next day