Megaphores - Metaphors and Similes never looked so good

I couldn't be happier if Ke$sha, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Bono, Jedward & the Glee Cast all got caught up in the same combine harvester accident

cpw | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 87

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I couldn't be happier if an old bearded man in a brown dressing gown told me I needed to become a Jedi like my father

Bib | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 82

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I couldn't be happier if I woke up one morning with breasts

Playfully | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 75

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I couldn't be happier if I was on a Prozac drip with a Nitrous oxide mask

i like turtles | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 73

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5

I couldn't be happier if I could see multiple raibows, there so beautiful

anon | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 66

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6

I couldn't be happier if bacon and donuts were good for me

Driver | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 66

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7

I couldn't be happier if I was having dinner with the cast of Airplane!

Stop calling me Shirley | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 60

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8

I couldn't be happier if I was riding backwards on an eagle through the Grand Canyon naked, while eating a hoisin duck wrap

Bob | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 55

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9

I couldn't be happier if my lucky Sasquatch unearthed a massive truffle that I sold to Gordon Ramsey for some tea and scones

Dave | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 48

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10

I couldn't be happier if I could get all the lego pieces out of my ass

al | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 48

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11

I couldn't be happier if I was stamping on Bieber's face in football boots while naked oiled lesbians rub themselves up against me

bliss | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 48

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12

I couldn't be happier if I was a porcine rolling around in it's own feceas

Piggin shit | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 43

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13

I couldn't be happier if I performed an O Soto Gari on David Cameron and Nick Clegg, then proceeded to stamp their heads into the pavement.

Faroutman | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 43

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14

I couldn't be happier if Emerald Weapon just tapped out before I had to spend a ridiculous amount of hours breeding a Golden Chocobo

Cloud | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 39

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15

I couldn't be happier if I was greco roman wrestling with Rick Waller... Naked

Yummay | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 39

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16

I couldn't be happier if I was suffering from depression

nuge | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 39

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17

I couldn't be happier if Charlie Sheen shared half his TV earnings with me

Taahm | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 39

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18

I couldn't be happier if I was sitting on Dali nude women chair, srinking turkish coffee and watching two midgets fight for my pleasure.

Crippleninja | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 38

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19

I couldn't be happier if I managed to tip over a cereal box WITH THE POWER OF MY MIND

dundunduuuuuunnn | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 31

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20

I couldn't be happier if Kelly Brooke told me she wanted to slum it with a nobody for just one day

jackpot | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 29

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21

I couldn't be happier if I could poop out rolls of quarters

Me | 29/10/2014 | Permalink | MegaScore: 29

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22

I couldn't be happier if I could lick my own balls

Me | 29/10/2014 | Permalink | MegaScore: 16

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23

I couldn't be happier if i wasn't me

perry | 11/03/2011 | Permalink | MegaScore: 16

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I couldn't be happier if...

Finish the sentence!